Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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