Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
