u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
