i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
3pm strippers are depressing
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize