found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I need to calm my uterus...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
