You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
