So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize
