She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
