Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
