This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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