jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
