Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I am spending my child support on dildos
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
