Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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