we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
