my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
