these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
