i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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