the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Ladies don't puke and tell
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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