So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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