i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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