My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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