it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
