Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
A+ Viking dick
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
