Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
