Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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