she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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