Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
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