last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
