I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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