Well douche your snatch and let's go!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
