She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
