so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
