Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize