So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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