i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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