hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
