Having a random hookup so left but love u
Me. At least after what I've been through.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
