Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize