I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
