so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
