Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize