Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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