I'm going to jail i love you
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
