do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
