Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
