walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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