Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
