The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
