part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
