If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
