is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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