my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
