Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
