I wanna bring you to show and tell
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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