He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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