We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize