I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
