i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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