I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
