I can tuck mytits in my pants
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Randomize
