I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
