If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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