She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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